I have not felt like myself for the past year. There are some mornings my body feels like a truck ran over me during the night. I’m always tired…even after 10 hours of sleep. My pants just keep getting tighter and tighter even though I’ve changed nothing with my diet and exercise. For a year, I’ve been chalking it up to stress. This past year has been emotionally trying for me on several fronts, the main one being my job. This past school year was definitely the toughest one for me yet. So I pushed through the year thinking I would feel better this summer. I haven’t, so I finally went to the doctor. My doctor was a bit alarmed when she saw me because I bet I’ve only been there once or twice in the past 10 years, so she took my concerns seriously. We talked fibromyalgia. We tested my thyroid. She did extensive blood work. We researched blood diseases because of all of my bruising.
I finally got my diagnosis…I’m getting old.
Seriously?! The doctor informed me that it’s scientifically proven that women in their 40’s are always tired, hot flashes begin, and their metabolism starts to plummet. Great, I thought, let’s just add that to periods, cellulite, waxing every hair off our body, and childbirth and let’s all get in line to be a woman! She continued by telling me I could do exactly what I’m doing right now and I would gain around 5 lbs each year. Or I could cut out carbs and increase the intensity of my workouts to 5-6 times a week and hope to maintain through the next decade. At this point I realized she seriously was not going to give me a pill to fix this. I complained it wasn’t fair. Men can give up soft drinks and lose 10 lbs and women are existing on quinoa (and if you know what that is,
you know what I’m talking about!) and jump on the scale to see they’ve gained a pound! She agreed, saying it was the male testosterone that made it easier for some men and she would happily give me some but I would probably grow a full beard. Hmmm…skinny with a full beard or heavier with a smooth face? I do have a pretty good razor at home…
Seriously though, I knew in that moment she was right and something had to change for me. I’m a woman, so I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t about the number on the scale and what I look like, but for the first time it was about more than that. It was about feeling better.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
If you know me at all, you know diet and exercise are not my strong points. On most days the closest I get to a well-balanced meal is a plate of cheese fries and a glass of wine (bacon=protein, cheese=dairy, potatoes=vegetables and wine=fruit…looks good
to me!) I recently filed a police report to try and find out who stole my endorphins because mine are missing. Exercising for me is about as fun as childbirth. That’s when I called Sharon from Eat Well Play More to be my health coach…to support me on this quest to be healthy and feel better. To change my mindset from “the only thing that matters is the number on the scale” to “the only thing that matters is how I feel”. To empower me to take care of myself as well as I take care of others and to be the best me I can possibly be, no matter what the scale says. She has the patience of a saint because my steps have been baby steps but at least I’m moving forward. She would be really proud of me sitting here drinking my spinach while I write this and even knowing how to spell quinoa!
I have purposely stayed away from the topic of weight on this blog because it’s a sensitive one. This is not about weight though, this is about health. I want to be alive to play with my grandchildren. I want to be an example to my own children that health is important and what you put in your body matters. I don’t just want to be alive, I want to be healthy enough to really live. I know I am more than a number. I know the value I bring to the world is so much more than a bikini ready body. I know it’s the size of my heart, not the size of my butt that makes me beautiful. I’m outraged by the unrealistic expectations placed on women to look a certain way and I’m saddened by all my beautiful friends who do not see their own beauty because they are not a size 2. And I’m embarrassed that I know exactly how they feel, because I feel it too.
I have a very long road ahead of me, but hopefully some of the changes I’m making will give me many extra years to figure it all out! Any motivation and positive thoughts you can send my way would be greatly appreciated and if you find my endorphins, I really need them back!
I finally got my diagnosis…I’m getting old.
Seriously?! The doctor informed me that it’s scientifically proven that women in their 40’s are always tired, hot flashes begin, and their metabolism starts to plummet. Great, I thought, let’s just add that to periods, cellulite, waxing every hair off our body, and childbirth and let’s all get in line to be a woman! She continued by telling me I could do exactly what I’m doing right now and I would gain around 5 lbs each year. Or I could cut out carbs and increase the intensity of my workouts to 5-6 times a week and hope to maintain through the next decade. At this point I realized she seriously was not going to give me a pill to fix this. I complained it wasn’t fair. Men can give up soft drinks and lose 10 lbs and women are existing on quinoa (and if you know what that is,
you know what I’m talking about!) and jump on the scale to see they’ve gained a pound! She agreed, saying it was the male testosterone that made it easier for some men and she would happily give me some but I would probably grow a full beard. Hmmm…skinny with a full beard or heavier with a smooth face? I do have a pretty good razor at home…
Seriously though, I knew in that moment she was right and something had to change for me. I’m a woman, so I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t about the number on the scale and what I look like, but for the first time it was about more than that. It was about feeling better.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
If you know me at all, you know diet and exercise are not my strong points. On most days the closest I get to a well-balanced meal is a plate of cheese fries and a glass of wine (bacon=protein, cheese=dairy, potatoes=vegetables and wine=fruit…looks good
to me!) I recently filed a police report to try and find out who stole my endorphins because mine are missing. Exercising for me is about as fun as childbirth. That’s when I called Sharon from Eat Well Play More to be my health coach…to support me on this quest to be healthy and feel better. To change my mindset from “the only thing that matters is the number on the scale” to “the only thing that matters is how I feel”. To empower me to take care of myself as well as I take care of others and to be the best me I can possibly be, no matter what the scale says. She has the patience of a saint because my steps have been baby steps but at least I’m moving forward. She would be really proud of me sitting here drinking my spinach while I write this and even knowing how to spell quinoa!
I have purposely stayed away from the topic of weight on this blog because it’s a sensitive one. This is not about weight though, this is about health. I want to be alive to play with my grandchildren. I want to be an example to my own children that health is important and what you put in your body matters. I don’t just want to be alive, I want to be healthy enough to really live. I know I am more than a number. I know the value I bring to the world is so much more than a bikini ready body. I know it’s the size of my heart, not the size of my butt that makes me beautiful. I’m outraged by the unrealistic expectations placed on women to look a certain way and I’m saddened by all my beautiful friends who do not see their own beauty because they are not a size 2. And I’m embarrassed that I know exactly how they feel, because I feel it too.
I have a very long road ahead of me, but hopefully some of the changes I’m making will give me many extra years to figure it all out! Any motivation and positive thoughts you can send my way would be greatly appreciated and if you find my endorphins, I really need them back!
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