I was reading something the other day and the article ended with this question…

Are you living or simply existing?

Of course I’m living I thought.   To not be living would mean I don’t love my life and of course I love my life.  End of story.  But, as many things do, it left me thinking.  How do we know if we are merely existing?

Dr. Phil says existing is instinctual; it is involuntary, reactive self-preservation, with the primary goal of just getting from one day to the next without regard to quality. Living, on the other hand, is the exercise of certain learned skills, attitudes, and abilities that you have acquired and honed to a sharp and focused edge.  Living is waking up excited each day and looking forward to the known and unknown the day may bring.

A large component of simply existing is fear.  Fear of making a change, fear of the unknown, fear the grass is not greener.  Because of this fear, we do the same boring routine every day, we stay in dead-end jobs we don’t enjoy, we stay in toxic relationships that are no good for us, and we put off our dreams.  To change feels too hard and too scary.  We settle and make excuses to not live the life we truly want to lead.

Kimanzi Constable published a book called Are You Living or Existing? 9 Steps to Change Your Life.  He explains the difference between living and existing this way…

“The difference is realization, attitude and action. You start by realizing that time is one resource we’ll never get back, so we can’t afford to waste it doing things that won’t better our life. Then have the right attitude towards everything you do, viewing opportunities as a blessing and not another task on your to do list. Action means not wasting your life away watching the latest prime time shows. It means getting out and creating amazing experiences. At the end of your life you won’t remember all of the stuff you got or shows you watched. You’ll remember incredible experiences and times you impacted the lives of others.”

So how would you even know if you’re someone who exists or lives? Steve Jobs did something that could provide some guidance. Apparently he used to wake up each morning, look at himself in the mirror and ask himself the same question, “If I was to die today, would I do what I am about to do?” If his answer was no too many days in a row, he would make a change.  I think this is a good starting point for figuring out if you’re just settling for mediocrity. If you’re not getting excited or happy most days with what you’re going to do, you may need to take action and change something. This goes for every area of your life.

After being brutally honest with myself, I had to admit, although I’ve done my share of living, I’ve also done my share of existing.  I decided that needed to change.  But where to start?  It felt right to start from Constable’s explanation of living…realization, attitude, and action.

I decided the first step was to take control of my life…to be fully responsible and accountable for my own happiness.  It is not the job of my co-workers, husband, children or friends to make my life meaningful, it is mine.  I decided to stop being a spectator to my life and instead, fully participate in each day.  At 45 my life is probably more than half way over and any time spent existing is just not acceptable anymore.  Time is precious and I don’t want to waste another minute.

Secondly, my attitude has to change.  I must begin to count my blessings and not my problems.  I must begin to see obstacles as opportunities.  Most importantly for me, I must stop my perfectionist ways.  I have to learn to be ok with failure and not be afraid to try new things.  I also have to accept the fact that living life to its fullest is not a destination, it’s a journey.  A journey I will be on for the rest of my life.  This step will be a work in progress for me and probably the hardest step of all.  The idea of change brings me much anxiety!

Finally, I must act.  I’m a great planner and a not-so-good follow througher.  I decided to really think about what I feel passionate about in life, what I enjoy doing, and what makes me feel good about myself?  I’m embarrassed to admit how difficult it was to identify things I feel passionate about or enjoy doing.  I’ve never been a big “hobby” person and my life has revolved so much around my kids the past 17 years, I realize I’ve sort of  lost myself along the way.  I am realistic enough to know I’m not ready for huge changes immediately so I’ve outlined some baby steps for myself in all areas of my life to push myself in the right direction. I had to take a deep breath and dig deep, but I’m excited about some of the possibilities I’m investigating.  Remember, even small steps can lead to big possibilities!

How about you?  Do you need to take this journey with me?  Do you find yourself simply existing more days than you are really living?  Or are you someone who lives life to the fullest and wakes up excited for what each day holds?  Either way, I’d love to hear your story!

Last night I was watching the CBS evening news and they did a segment called Six Word War.  First, let me tell you a bit about this memoir from their website www.sixwordwar.com. 

“Welcome to Six Word War. Instead of a book about Iraq or Afghanistan that tells one soldier’s perspective, Six Word War is the first ‘crowdsourced’ war memoir that will tell a story different than any other ever told about war. For the first time in history, one book will contain the collective experience of our military at war in their own words.

Sometimes veterans have funny stories to tell and sometimes they’re tragic. Not every story on its own could justify an entire book, but that’s what we think is incredible about this project. The thousands of stories that we’re gathering tell the real story of Iraq and Afghanistan - a story that couldn’t possibly be told by one person.

This project is being run by Shaun Wheelwright and Mike Nemeth, both US Army veterans. Mike and Shaun met as West Point classmates at the United States Military Academy. Shaun went on to deploy to Iraq from 2007-2009 with the 1-27 Infantry, 25th ID. Mike was injured prior to a deployment and left the Army as a 2nd Lieutenant. “

I was so deeply moved by this segment that I immediately went to their website. I was astonished at how much emotion, insight, loss, and even humor could be described in six short words.  Here are a few of my favorites…

Family Sacrifice Personal Sacrifice Rinse Repeat

I came home, but never left.

Divorce, despair, only God could repair.

Hearts and minds, I lost both.

It’s okay to not be okay

Responsibilities causing maturing beyond my years

Taliban Bullet, Army Hospital, Found Love

Nicotine. Caffeine. Dead friends. No sleep.

I am tired of the goodbyes.

Baby coming. Please come home alive!

The other battle starts at home.

Powerful stuff, huh.  They were inspired by a website called http://sixwordmemoirs.com.  A Six-Word Memoir® is the story of your life—some part of it or all of it—told in exactly six words.

This inspired me to think about how I would sum up my own life in six words.  It was a struggle, but today this is the six words that would represent me.

Flawed and fearful.  Blessed beyond belief.

I have so many flaws.  What’s even worse is I actually know how flawed I really am.  But holding hands with all my flaws is good intention and lessons learned.  Each day I try to do better.  Each day I try to take a baby step to a better me.  I don’t always succeed, but I can never be accused of not trying.

I am not a risk taker…never have been.  I used to feel bad about it but I’ve come to accept that is just part of who I am and there is nothing wrong with that.  When it becomes an issue though, is when fears stops me from stepping outside my comfort zone and reaching my goals.  Fear of failure, fear of change, fear of someone being mad at me, fear of losing someone, fear of being hurt.  Although I have no regrets in my life, I am ashamed of the missed opportunities and experiences never lived because fear has gotten in my way.

I really am blessed.  I am blessed beyond belief.  I am blessed with my health and the health of all my loved ones.  I am blessed with a job that reconfirms how blessed I am on a daily basis.  I’m blessed with the ability to love and to be loved.  I’m blessed with two children who are perfect for me, who I stare at constantly because I can’t believe they are really mine.  I am blessed with a diverse array of friends from all chapters of my life who have guided me, supported me, and loved me, even at my worst.

So, go check out the sixwordwar website.  Or check out the segment from CBS Evening News I’ve linked on my page.  Or even better yet, go buy the book.  My six words might change next week or next year.  They would have looked very different five years ago and even more different ten years ago.  But for today, this is my six word life. 

What’s yours?  How would you describe your life in six words?

I love to express myself through writing.  Although I’m articulate and I have no problem talking to people, I tend to be very reactive. I speak without thinking through my thoughts. 
This can lead to some regrets and a number of embarrassing moments because I can say some pretty stupid stuff!  Writing gives me a chance to ponder my thoughts, to read them through someone else’s eyes, to do on paper what my mind can’t seem to do…to slow down.

I’ve been writing this blog for 5 months now.  I started this blog for various reasons…to share some things I’ve learned through my counseling background and my own life experiences, to see if I like writing as much as I think I do, to challenge myself by doing something totally out of my comfort zone, to test if it was something I would stick with and not give up on, to open up doors with the possibility writing might be part of a
career for me one day, and mainly because I enjoy it.  What I write about isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and each time I post something I debate if I should keep doing this.  Something keeps me at it though.  I often get writer’s block.  Not because I don’t have something to say (I always do!) but because I also decided to stay away from topics that are too personal, too controversial, too heavy. I told myself this was
because I wasn’t ready for the criticism and judgment that comes along with
plunging into topics like these.  But it wasn’t until I started reading a book by Brene Brown called Daring Greatly that I understood the real reason I don’t delve into these hard topics.  I don’t want to be vulnerable.  Not just in this blog, but in life.  

Vulnerable is defined as capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt; capable of being physically or emotionally wounded.  As I write that even I’m thinking…well who in the world WOULD want to be vulnerable?  Brown explains in her book how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity.  She explains that when we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.

I want to share an excerpt of the introductory of her book.  It was one of those “aha” moments for me.  I reread it many times hoping her words would seep into my pores.  I find them extremely powerful.  I hope you will too.

Taken from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown:

The phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.”  The speech, sometimes referred to as “The Man in the Arena” was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France on April 23, 1910.  This is the passage that made the speech famous.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;

Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”

Dr. Brown continues with her thoughts.

The first time I read this quote, I thought, this is vulnerability. Everything I’ve learned from over a decade of research on vulnerability has taught me this exact lesson.  Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging.  It’s being all in.

Vulnerability is not a weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional.  Our only choice is question of engagement.  Our
willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our
courage and clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnect.

When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationship and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.

Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.  We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be – a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation – with courage and willingness to engage.  Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen.  This is vulnerability.  This is daring greatly.

And this is just the first page!  So this is my new motto…I’m daring greatly!  I’m not sure exactly what that’s going to look like, but I have a few ideas. There are some arenas I need to walk into and some places I need to dare to show up.  I need to realize
fear is not going to protect me and perfection is unattainable.  I need to be vulnerable.

If you liked this post, go get her book.  I ordered it through Amazon but I’m sure it’s in any bookstore.  She has also given two TED talks and I’ve attached them here if you want to hear more.  And if you get the book and you want to discuss it through an informal book club, let me know and I’ll set one up on my blog.

  I was talking with a co-worker recently about some things going on in her personal life.  As we finished the conversation, she laughed and said “Why didn’t anyone tell us how hard life was going to be?” 

I’ve thought about this a lot in my own life.   We parade the good stuff every chance we get, but the tough stuff…the painful stuff…the real stuff we keep hidden away.  We don’t talk about that stuff. Maybe we are worried we will be judged.  Maybe we are worried if anyone sees a crack in our “wall” they will chip away at it further.  Maybe we are embarrassed.  Maybe we just don’t want to admit to the bad stuff, even to ourselves.  But we all have it and if we are not struggling right now, we’ve struggled in the past or our struggles are waiting for us somewhere down the line.  No one gets a free pass.

So here is what I wish someone had said to my 20-year-old self…this is what I wish I knew about life.

Life is a road trip.  You will start off excited, full of hope, full of dreams, and endless possibilities.  Throughout your trip there will be times you will lose that hope, you will stop dreaming and you see no possibilities in sight.  Hang in there, search harder, keep hoping…these feelings won’t last.  This journey will take you through many terrains.  Some are dull and boring, while others will be exciting cities with bright lights and endless parties.  As you keep traveling, you will hit barren patches, sometimes with no signs of life.  At times you will feel like you are on a road so narrow you don’t seem to fit and one wrong move might send you over the high cliffs beside you.  But hold on to the steering wheel with both hands and put every ounce of energy you have to stay on the road.  As you come off the cliffs, you will be white knuckled, tired and stressed but you will end up at some of the most breathtaking landscape you’ve ever seen.  Stay there a while and rest.

You will find a traveling partner along the way.  You plan for this to be your partner for the rest of the trip.  There will be times you sit side by side and feel such joy and awe at what you see as you travel along.  Other times though, one partner gets tired so they go in the back and nap while the other has to carry the load of the drive.  You will switch places often.  There will be times you don’t want to travel with this person anymore.  You may want to travel alone.  You need the windows down, the wind in your hair and the radio blaring and you might even take a break from traveling together.  You may decide the journey is better alone…only you know your own truth…or you realize there is nothing more satisfying than sharing this journey with your partner.  It just wouldn’t be the same without them.   Kids may join your road trip.  It will give the trip new meaning and you will see the journey through a fresh set of eyes, but they will also make the trip more complicated.  You will find yourself exhausted.  But you will feel such a mix of pride and grief when they don’t show up for the trip one day because they’ve started road trips of their own.

You will meet so many special people along the way.  Some will travel with you and be part of your journey until the end, while others you will only know for a short time.  Some, you will meet briefly, but will show up again somewhere down the road.  Meet as many people as you can but try not to grieve when they go their own way.  They have served their purpose in your life and new friends and new lessons await you at the next stop.  Some people you meet will not be nice, but they have a lesson to teach you as well.  Most though, will be kind and generous and loving and be just what you need for that leg of the trip.  Cherish each one you meet and remember to send postcards along the way.

Although there will sickness and sadness on this trip, there will also be new beginnings and miracles.  You will laugh, you will cry, you will love, you will lose.  There might come a time you don’t want to be on the trip anymore.  You have lost your way and you don’t know how to get back to the main road.  You want to give up.  Don’t.  You might need to call for help, but keep driving and one day you will look on the side of the road and see something familiar, something that brings a smile and you will know you are back on track.  Some days the best you can do is just show up.  That’s ok too.  But always be grateful for this trip, many are not so lucky.  

As the trip ends, you and your partner will hold hands and smile and laugh as you reminisce over the memories of the trip.  Sometimes the “worst” parts of the trips turn out to be the ones that taught you the most, because without the difficult parts, you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the easy and beautiful parts.  You will finally decide it’s time to pull over.  When you get somewhere to rest, all of your friends and family will be there to meet you.  They will want to hear all about your trip and they will share parts of theirs.  And you will encourage your partner to continue with the trip alone or find another traveling partner because your part of the trip is over.  Or maybe it’s you that must learn to travel alone. 

You only get one road trip and it will fly by.  Don’t waste a minute of it.  Don’t get so weary from your travels you forget to laugh, to have fun, and to try new things.  Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from exploring, from dreaming, from being adventurous.  Don’t spend too much time remembering past stops or worrying about future destinations, enjoy the moment in front of you.  Don’t have regrets.  Each stop on your journey has served a purpose.  And finally, don’t believe that happiness is a destination you are driving towards on your journey.  Happiness is the road trip itself.  Take it all in…each person, each moment, each landscape.  Always be present.  So as you prepare for your own road trip, pack lightly, put your sunglasses on, get your camera ready, buckle up and hold on tight!  You are in for the ride of your life…make it one to remember!

We have an unusually long summer break this year…a little over 3 months in fact.  The reason for the longer-than-usual break is to give the County time to finish the new high school.  Although we will make up for the break next year (we only get 2 months off next summer), I plan to enjoy every moment of it!  I will be out of town for about a month this summer spending time with all kinds of my favorite friends and family, but I am determined to use the rest of the time to do some things that I have either never done, or it has been years since I’ve done.  So, I created a summer bucket list. 

I have lived in Blacksburg my whole life.  When you live somewhere forever, you tend to start taking for granted all of the beauty and attractions an area like ours has to offer.  I never make the time to enjoy the things a visitor might, because I know I can do these things any time.  The problem is, I don’t ever take the time to do them.  So, I plan to change that this year!  Here is my personal summer bucket list…

1.        Pick berries at 3 Birds Berry Farm (formally Crow’s Nest) in Blacksburg
www.3birdsberryfarm.com
I’m embarrassed to say, I’ve never done this.  You can pick your own blueberries, blackberries and raspberries…YUM!

2.        Hike the Cascades in Giles County
www.gilescounty.org/cascades.html
I have done this many times, but it has been way too long.  It’s a 4 mile round-trip hike to one of the most beautiful waterfalls in Virginia.  Note there is a $3 fee per vehicle…this is new since I was last there if that tells you how long it’s been!

3.        Hike Virginia’s Triple Crown…Dragons Tooth, McAfee’s Knob and Tinker Cliffs
I have never really hiked before so this may be wishful thinking, but you have to dream big!

McAfee Knob is a 8.3 mile hike in Catawba that they say takes approximately 4 hours to complete.  It has a difficulty of 3/5 and seems to be a good way to start my hiking adventures.
www.hikingupward.com/jnf/McAfeeKnob/

Dragon Tooth is a 5.7 mile hike in Catawba that they also say takes roughly 4 hours to complete.  It has a difficulty of a 4/5 so we will see how I do!
www.hikingupward.com/jnf/dragonstooth/

Tinker Cliffs is a 7.7 mile hike in Mount Union (about an hour drive) that again takes about 4 hours to hike.  The difficulty level is again a 4/5 and they say it’s brutal for beginners, so this will be last on my list!
www.hikingupward.com/JNF/TinkerCliffsAndyLayneTrail/

4.       Go the Friday Night Jamboree at The Floyd Country Store
www.floydcountrystore.com/stage/jamboree-schedule
I have wanted to do this for 20 years!  The March, 2000 issue of Country Living magazine identified the Floyd County Store as one of the two best places in the country to hear bluegrass music (the other place was a club in New York City).  Show starts at 6:30 and ends around 10:30.  Cost for admission is $5. 

5.       Eat at The Homeplace Restaurant in Catawba
www.facebook.com/pages/The-Homeplace-Restaurant/115564841808913
I could not find a website, so this is their facebook page to learn more.  I’ve eaten here before, but it’s been a LONG time!  My mouth is watering already!

6.        Spend a day on the Blue Ridge Parkway
www.blueridgeparkway.org/
I’ve done this once or twice, but hope to go on a gorgeous day with the top down on my jeep and enjoy the scenery!  And maybe some pancakes from Mabry Mill!

7.       Canoe on the New River
www.newriverjunction.com/
The river makes me nervous, but Todd and I did this one time (pre-kids!) and had a blast!  If I can’t canoe, tubing will suffice!  It’s been a while since I even did that!

8.       See a movie at Starlite Drive-In in Christiansburg
www.starlitedrivein.info/
One of my favorite things to do and it’s been YEARS since I’ve been.  Not only am I going to go, but I’m going to fill the back of Todd’s truck with lots of blankets and pillows and watch it from the bed of his truck!

9.       Take advantage of the tons of amazing live music this area has to offer
www.nextthreedays.com/
There is so much live music going on in this area and especially in Blacksburg.  Whether it’s at one of the local restaurants/bars or an outdoor event, I’m determined to make it out to some shows!  I’m starting June 1 with the Blue Ridge Music Festival in Salem…very excited!

10.   Have brunch at Mountain Lake in Giles County
http://www.mtnlakelodge.com/
Once again, something I haven’t done in years.  The drive alone is beautiful!

I also have some silly, personal ones too…

1.        Drink some Boones Farm wine by a bonfire
2.       Have a cornhole tournament party
3.       Go fishing, but more importantly, catch one!
4.       Spend at least one day jet skiing or boating on the lake
5.       Have a reunion bowling day with my bowling team (we came in last place by the way! Haha!)
6.       See lots of movies
7.       Walk around the Virginia Tech campus, downtown Blacksburg and visit the Farmer’s Market
8.       Go to a wine tasting
9.       Try some new restaurants I’ve never been to
10.   READ!

Shew!  I’ve got my work cut out for me!  What’s on your bucket list this summer?  What should I be adding to mine?  Who wants to join me?  I’ll keep you posted with updates and pictures to see how I’m doing!  Keep me posted on yours as well!

I was part of a conversation recently where I overheard a lady telling someone else how she wished all sports would be banned from schools.  She felt too much emphasis was placed on sports, and not enough on academics.  She wasn’t talking directly to me so I decided to stay quiet.  But, I get it.  The accolades for athletic accomplishments far exceed the accolades for academic accomplishments.  We have sports sections in the newspaper and sports segments on the local news, but very little concerning the academic achievements of our youth.  Parents will sit in the freezing rain for hours to watch their child play sports, but won’t show up for a 15 minute parent-teacher conference.  Parents will argue profusely with a referee on a call they deem to be unfair, or make a multitude of calls to a coach if they believe their child is receiving unfair playing time, but have no interest in the unfairness of teacher pay, budget cuts, or the overall direction our education system is headed.  It’s a family affair to show up to watch our kids play sports, but how many of us bring our families to school-sponsored events that are not athletic in nature.  I’ve worried about the mixed signals I’ve sent my own kids at time.  Do my actions tell them I value their achievement in academics more than their participation in sports?  Our country certainly isn’t telling them this when the average NFL player makes a median salary of $770,000 while a teacher’s median salary is $52,000.  Like I said, I get it.

But now for the flip side from someone whose kids play A LOT of sports.  My kids are learning some crucial life lessons from their participation in sports and I couldn’t be more proud.  There were so many, I really struggled narrowing my list from 15 or 20, but here are my top 5! (in no particular order)

1.        Understanding commitment – My kids love playing sports, but there are days they really don’t want to go to practice.  But they do…because they’ve made a commitment.  They know their team is counting on them and they don’t want to let them down.  It’s their responsibility to contact their coaches if they have to miss a practice or need to be late, just like it will be their responsibility once they get a job.  Sports have taught them once you commit to something you follow through on that commitment because others are depending on you.

2.       Overcoming obstacles and perseverance – Life is going to throw us obstacles at every turn.  I certainly can’t prepare my kids for every one of them, but sports have taught them how to work through many.  They’ve dealt with getting cut from teams, lower than hoped for playing time, difficult teammates, questionable coaching, bad calls from refs, injuries, unsportsmanlike behavior (teammates AND parents), and playing through illness.  They are learning you get out of life what you put in it.  Nothing is handed to you, you must earn it.  And in order to earn it, you must never give up.  Effort equals results.

3.       Defining success – Sports are showing my kids there are many ways to define success.  Of course, wins and losses are one way, but I’ve watched my kids come home disappointed after a great win because they were not pleased with their personal performance, or on the other hand, be ok with a loss because they knew they played their best.  Success in life can be defined in many ways as well, but they are learning that doing your personal best, always equals a personal success.

4.       Teamwork and a focus on what you can control – Sports provide an opportunity for kids to learn to take turns and cooperate with teammates to achieve goals…even teammates they don’t like.  This holds true for the rest of your life.  You are going to have to work with people you don’t like, but still get the job done.  As kids learn their role on the court or field, this translates into the working world where you must understand your role within an organization in order to be most effective and efficient.  In life and sports, there is a lot of uncertainty.  You can control your attitude and effort, but you can’t control the refs, how your teammates are playing, or the coaches’ decisions.  Sports are teaching them to stay focused on THEIR effort, not on the outcome and let go of what they can’t control.  They make mistakes, but as athletes, they are learning to acknowledge their mistake, learn from it, then quickly brush it off and put it in the past so they can be mentally ready for the next game.

5.       Everyone has something different to offer/respect – In team sports, it’s rare that one person can perform every task well.  Different members of the team have different strengths and weaknesses.  Sports are teaching them to appreciate these differences and the importance of respecting what all people contribute to a game.  My kids have made friends with a diverse group of people they would have never had an opportunity to meet without sports in their life.  They also are learning how to be humble winners and gracious losers…a skill that will take them far in life.

Many people have questioned my decision to allow my kids to participate in so many sports.  They express concern for the limited amount of free time the kids have, the money and time we have spent on traveling on the weekends, and the lack of “family time” we have.  But it has been, without a doubt, the right decision for our family.  My kids stay naturally fit and healthy, they have stayed out of trouble (so far), and it’s something our family enjoys doing together.  Games are a family affair with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Some of our best memories have been the four of us squeezed in a hotel room.  And then, of course, all the above mentioned lessons they are learning.  With all that said, I’m well aware that it’s their academics that will solidify their future and be the deciding factor on where they go to college.  So I will continue to try and find a balance for both their academic and athletic achievements.  I’ll still be the pacing mom up in the stands that can’t stand to watch when games get close and the pain-in-the butt mom checking their grades on the computer on a weekly basis. And I’ll continue to be extremely proud.  Not only of their report card or their starting position on a team, but proud of the amazing human beings they both are…on AND off the court.

I would be remiss in talking about limitless lessons without paying tribute to the great Dr. Seuss on his birthday.  One of my favorite aspects to my job is the wonderful children's books I get to read, and Dr. Seuss is still one of my all time favorites.  I started to compile a list of my top lessons from Dr. Seuss but I found a list already made that said it much better than I could.  So a thank you to sourcesofinsight.com for their 21 lessons and a big Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss!

21 Lessons Learned from Dr. Seuss
There are so many great lessons from Dr. Seuss.  Each of his book is such a treasure trove of ideas and actions for a better life.  What I did here is boil down a set of 21 lessons that highlight his key themes across his works and quotes:

1. Be a thinker of great things.  Dr. Seuss teaches us, “Oh, the things you can think up if only you try!”
2. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.  Sometimes you just don’t know what you’ve got until after it’s gone.  In Bartholomew and the Ooblek, King Didd got what he wished for, but the sticky Ooblek goo was worse than the fog, snow, sunshine, and rain that it replaced.  The King quickly wanted his old weather back and he learned to appreciate it.
3. Be your best you.   In the words of Dr. Seuss, “There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  Make the most of what you’ve got.   In Yertle the Turtle, we see “feather envy” and it’s a gentle reminder to be careful what you wish for and appreciate what you’ve got.
4. Bend your world in wonderful ways.  Nobody bends it like the Cat in the Hat.   From the metaphors you use, to the thinks that you think, you can shape your world that’s right in front of you.
5. Don’t put yourself in a box.  You’re only limited by your own imagination.   The Cat in the Hat teaches us how to let our imaginations run wild.
6. Don’t waste your time worrying who’s better than who.  In Yertle the Turtle, Dr. Seuss teaches us that “You have better things to do than argue who’s better than who.”
7. Dream it and do it.  You can move mountains when you put your mind to it.  Direct your life like a blockbuster and make things happen.
8. Edutainment wins over boring and ho-hum.  With whacky words, wondrous worlds, and fantastical characters, Dr. Seuss taught us the edutainment is how you change a child’s life.  Reading is only boring if you make it so.
9. Kindle your curiosity.  Keep your mind open and your eyes peeled.  Stay curious and follow your growth.
10. Life happens in moments at a time.  Don’t miss out on life by tuning out the little things along the way.
11. Own your fun.   There’s more to do than play in the rain.  When you’re bored, you’re boring.   The Cat in the Hat teaches us to be the maker of our own fun.  Make each day your own special blend of whatever it is that best floats your boat.
12. Play at your day.  You can play at your day, in every way.
13. Persistence pays off.  Be relentless in your pursuit of things.  In Green Eggs and Ham, it was through persistence that Sam-I-Am finally got the unnamed character to try the green eggs and ham.  In real life, Dr. Seuss’s first children’s book, And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, was rejected 27 times before being published by Vanguard Press.
14. Treat people fairly and squarely.  In The Sneetches and Other Stories, Dr. Seuss shows us that we can’t judge people by their lot in life or whether they have a star on their belly.  In Yertle the Turtle, it’s a reminder not to climb over people on your way to the top, because they’re same people you’ll see on your way back down.
15. Try it … you just might like it.  In Green Eggs and Ham, when the unnamed character was surprised to find out that he actually likes green eggs and ham once he tried them.  You just never know until you try.
16. Saying you’re sorry can help make things right.   In Bartholomew and the Oobleck, when the king finally said the magic words, “I’m sorry,” and “it’s all my fault,” he helped make things right again.
17. See the bright side of things.  It’s a great day for up, when you can see the sunny side of things.  Sure sometimes you’ll have to work at it, but positivity is a skill.  Do it daily.
18. Setbacks happen.  Deal with them and move on.   Make trouble think twice about messing with you.
19. Some people are much more unlucky than you.  When you’re down in the dumps and things get real bad, remind yourself that somewhere, somehow, someway … somebody is much “more unlucky than you.”
20. Success is a journey and we all have our own paths.  Make your journey count.  Don’t let fear stop you.  Don’t let conventional wisdom stop you.  Lead the life you want to live, and when there’s no path, make one.
21. Your voice counts.  In Horton Hears a Who, Dr. Seuss shows us how one little voice can tip the scale … after all, “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

There are so many more I could add, especially from The Lorax to Oh, The Places You'll Go!  What would you add?  It's almost impossible for me to pick a favorite book because I love them all!  What's yours?  How about your favorite quote?  What has Dr. Seuss taught you about life?Dr. Seuss should be required reading for every adult.  Pick up a Dr. Seuss book and read it today.  I promise you will get more out of it as an adult than you ever did as a kid

A student was having a hard time adjusting to the higher expectations of first grade.  He was greatly displeased by the removal of nap time.  He thought we should all get naps!  I silently agreed, but said “Honey, things change”.  He replied, “Well, I don’t like it.”  You know what, me either. 

So much has been written about the good that comes from embracing change.  How important it is to close doors so others will open.  In fact, I have quotes taped all over my office to remind me.  I email them to friends, share them on Facebook and pin them on Pinterest hoping the notion that change is a beautiful thing will somehow seep into my pores.  It looks so good on paper!  The truth is, I don’t like change.  It’s hard.  It’s uncomfortable.  It’s unfamiliar, and many times, it’s just plain sad.  It IS hard to see the open doors when you are focused on the closed ones, but when the closed one is all you’ve ever known and you can’t see the open door, how do you make yourself pull away and walk towards uncertainty?

I admit…I am good at sabotaging door closings.  I put stops in the door so they won’t close.  I flip the latch so they won’t shut all the way.  I stick my foot in the door and hold it open with one hand, all the while trying to live my life and wondering why new opportunities are not coming my way.  But even for the hard core resistors like myself, it’s obvious change is inevitable.  NOTHING in my life has been able to escape change.  Not my jobs, not my relationships with people, not my children or husband, and especially not me.  Although I still struggle with embracing change in the moment, I can skim through the chapters of my life and everywhere I look, I see those open doors created by closing others.  Although it’s frightening, it can also be liberating.  And although I didn’t see it or appreciate it at the time, I know that in most instances, things worked out the way they should have.

I am resisting a lot of change in my life right now.  I am putting so much effort into juggling to keep doors from closing; I’m missing out on the exciting and wonderful opportunities offered by the open doors.  We don’t have to like change but we must accept it.  The definition of embrace says “to clasp or hold close with the arms, usually as an expression of affection”. Maybe if I treat change with more warmth and less fear, I will be able to embrace it in the moment.  Writing this article is my first step.  What’s your first step? Are there doors you need to close?   Change you need to embrace?  Comment here and share your experience with me!