I’ve been enjoying some “Bella Time” the past couple of months.  If you’ve ever had a lab, and especially a lab puppy, you know their energy can be quite exhausting at times.  So, on most days, I load her in my jeep and drive a mile or so down the road where my husband’s family owns about 150 acres of farm land and woods.  She can’t sit still on the way there, running from one window to the other and crying the whole time because she is so excited!  Although she is still quite crazy, we’ve come a long way from her jumping out the car window as I was going down the driveway the first time I took her!  Who knew you had to train dogs to stay in the car?!?

As soon as we get there, I open the door and she jumps out and takes off as I follow her in my jeep.  She runs through the pastures, stopping occasionally to play in a creek or swim in the pond.  She explores the woods and chases animals she smells that are long gone.  She gets so excited she can barely stand it, but is child-like in the way she never gets too far ahead, always looking back to make sure I’m with her and waiting for me when the need arises.  If we do get separated, one honk of the horn sends her swiftly back to me.  And I get to feel like a bit of a bad-ass crossing creek beds and driving places I would only feel comfortable in a 4WD.  She has gotten so attached to this time, on days I can’t take her she sits by the doors and cries and pouts.  She loves “Bella Time” as much as I do!

Along with being great exercise for Bella and some much needed quiet time for me, I’ve used this time to do what I always do…look for a lesson to take away, an experience to experience, or an “aha” moment to teach me something new.  Here are some things that have stuck with me.

Everyone should spend some time in nature.  My husband is a hunter, but he seldom shoots at anything.  One day I asked him why (which is, by the way, fine with me!)  He explained he loves to be in nature.  He loves the quiet, watching the animals, and the peace that comes along with being disconnected from the world.  It’s where he does his best thinking and feeling.  I get it now.  I get very limited phone service on this land so it’s mostly me and nature.  It’s quiet, it’s beautiful, it’s peaceful and I have seen some amazing things.  We used to spend a lot of times outdoors in our younger days and I forgot how serene it can be.  I would be remiss though in not mentioning that my idea of being in nature involves me sitting in my jeep with the air conditioning on because there are too many bugs outside and I’m scared of snakes!  But I’m still enjoying nature…just on my own terms!

It takes a very special person to stick by you through feast and famine. Normally on these adventures, the cattle are generally in the same location.  Recently the cattle were really spread out which is no fun for me because Bella is still learning not to chase them!  I called my husband and asked why they were so spread out.  He explained that when the grass is lush and in abundance, the cattle stick together.  When the grass is browning (due to our lack of rain) and there is not an abundance of food, they will go their own ways and spread out.  Obviously in the cow world, this is a necessity in order to find food, but I immediately thought about humans.  When our life is lush with an abundance of blessings and good fortune, people stick with us like glue.  When life is not so lush and we are lacking in good fortune and maybe even good choices, people scatter.  If you are lucky enough to have some of those special people in your life who stick by you in a drought, don’t let them go!

Mamas are mamas no matter the species.  I wrote in a previous blog post, Lessons from the Creek, about Bella’s run-in with a mama deer.  She has had quite a few run-ins with mama cows and it’s exactly the same reaction.  They will protect their babies with a passion that is like no other, just like we protect ours.  I discussed in the other blog post about our ability to turn from intelligent, soft-spoken women to a scarier version of the Incredible Hulk if we think our children are threatened.  I have also found that “mother instinct” to come into play with my dog!  Bella was in the woods and I heard a noise that alarmed me.  There are coyotes in the area and I got worried.  I know the likelihood of a coyote messing with her in the middle of the day is probably very slim, but I didn’t even think.  I jumped out of the jeep and was ready to take on the coyotes when Bella came trotting out of the woods.  Now, I admit I don’t know what I REALLY would have done if a coyote came trotting out after her, especially since I don’t even know what a coyote looks like, but for that moment, my adrenaline kicked in and I was ready to take some coyotes down!  I’m sure there are some people now spitting out their drink as they laugh at that last sentence, but it’s true!!  I also almost jumped in the pond to save her from (my perceived) drowning one time, but I’ll save that for another post.

A couple of more random lessons I’ve learned.  You would be extremely grossed out if you saw how many flies are on one cow.  I’m surprised they don’t all die from disease!  Also, cows poop…A LOT!  So much that I looked it up.  They can poop up to 150 lbs a day.  Disgusting, huh!  And the last random lesson I learned is no matter how hard I try to prevent it, a dog will always step in that cow poop the moment before they jump into your car!  It never fails.

Of everything I experience on these adventures though, the best thing is watching how happy it makes Bella…what could be more satisfying than that?  My daughter says I love Bella more than my kids.  Well, she IS always happy to see me, always sad to see me go, never talks back, never tires of my kisses (even in public), doesn’t know how to roll her eyes, and the only thing she wants from me is my attention and time…let’s just call it a tie!

It’s the beginning of the end…the end of summer that is.  It’s the end of lazy days and sleeping in.  It’s the end of long vacations, the sound of the waves, and the smell of suntan lotion.  It’s the end of going out to breakfast with the kids and hours spent playing with my puppy. It’s the end of a clean house, manageable laundry, and not being sure what day it is. I know the end of summer has come when I go buy my planner for the upcoming year.  I love the crisp, clean pages that will soon be colorfully marked with school schedules, meetings, sporting events, practices, appointments, and celebrations.

But many endings can be sad. At my age, I see my peers dealing with some painful endings.  The end of a marriage…the end of children living at home. ..the end of a career…the end of strong, healthy parents…the end of a friendship. 

But as we know, all endings are new beginnings in disguise.

I find some comfort in the idea that behind every painful ending, there is something new and promising waiting for us.  I am intrigued by what might be waiting ahead if I just have the courage to keep walking. The end of a marriage might be the beginning of finding your best friend.  The end of children living at home might be an exciting new chapter for you and your spouse.  The end of a career might open the door for you to follow your true passion.  The end of healthy parents might give way to a deeper relationship with them as the roles begin to reverse and the end of a friendship could lead the way to finding a new friend who understands you like no other.

Although the end of summer is a bit melancholy for me, it is also the beginning of many new things in my life as well.  It’s the start of a new school year with a new principal, new expectations, and new students.  It’s the opportunity to serve as an
advisor for Kappa Delta sorority at Virginia Tech as soon as the students arrive back. It’s the inauguration of being a parent to two kids in high school  and the excitement of new seasons for all their sports. It’s the establishment of my own journey to healthier living and a more peaceful state of mind and it’s the commencement of new challenges and opportunities for personal growth.

I don’t like change (see my post about change) so letting go of the old to make room for the new has always been challenging and frightening for me.  I'm trying not to focus on the sad endings and scary beginnings though, but to embrace all the life that comes in between.  How have you dealt with a painful ending or scary beginning in your life?  Have you made it through and are on the other side now?  How did it feel?

  I was talking with a co-worker recently about some things going on in her personal life.  As we finished the conversation, she laughed and said “Why didn’t anyone tell us how hard life was going to be?” 

I’ve thought about this a lot in my own life.   We parade the good stuff every chance we get, but the tough stuff…the painful stuff…the real stuff we keep hidden away.  We don’t talk about that stuff. Maybe we are worried we will be judged.  Maybe we are worried if anyone sees a crack in our “wall” they will chip away at it further.  Maybe we are embarrassed.  Maybe we just don’t want to admit to the bad stuff, even to ourselves.  But we all have it and if we are not struggling right now, we’ve struggled in the past or our struggles are waiting for us somewhere down the line.  No one gets a free pass.

So here is what I wish someone had said to my 20-year-old self…this is what I wish I knew about life.

Life is a road trip.  You will start off excited, full of hope, full of dreams, and endless possibilities.  Throughout your trip there will be times you will lose that hope, you will stop dreaming and you see no possibilities in sight.  Hang in there, search harder, keep hoping…these feelings won’t last.  This journey will take you through many terrains.  Some are dull and boring, while others will be exciting cities with bright lights and endless parties.  As you keep traveling, you will hit barren patches, sometimes with no signs of life.  At times you will feel like you are on a road so narrow you don’t seem to fit and one wrong move might send you over the high cliffs beside you.  But hold on to the steering wheel with both hands and put every ounce of energy you have to stay on the road.  As you come off the cliffs, you will be white knuckled, tired and stressed but you will end up at some of the most breathtaking landscape you’ve ever seen.  Stay there a while and rest.

You will find a traveling partner along the way.  You plan for this to be your partner for the rest of the trip.  There will be times you sit side by side and feel such joy and awe at what you see as you travel along.  Other times though, one partner gets tired so they go in the back and nap while the other has to carry the load of the drive.  You will switch places often.  There will be times you don’t want to travel with this person anymore.  You may want to travel alone.  You need the windows down, the wind in your hair and the radio blaring and you might even take a break from traveling together.  You may decide the journey is better alone…only you know your own truth…or you realize there is nothing more satisfying than sharing this journey with your partner.  It just wouldn’t be the same without them.   Kids may join your road trip.  It will give the trip new meaning and you will see the journey through a fresh set of eyes, but they will also make the trip more complicated.  You will find yourself exhausted.  But you will feel such a mix of pride and grief when they don’t show up for the trip one day because they’ve started road trips of their own.

You will meet so many special people along the way.  Some will travel with you and be part of your journey until the end, while others you will only know for a short time.  Some, you will meet briefly, but will show up again somewhere down the road.  Meet as many people as you can but try not to grieve when they go their own way.  They have served their purpose in your life and new friends and new lessons await you at the next stop.  Some people you meet will not be nice, but they have a lesson to teach you as well.  Most though, will be kind and generous and loving and be just what you need for that leg of the trip.  Cherish each one you meet and remember to send postcards along the way.

Although there will sickness and sadness on this trip, there will also be new beginnings and miracles.  You will laugh, you will cry, you will love, you will lose.  There might come a time you don’t want to be on the trip anymore.  You have lost your way and you don’t know how to get back to the main road.  You want to give up.  Don’t.  You might need to call for help, but keep driving and one day you will look on the side of the road and see something familiar, something that brings a smile and you will know you are back on track.  Some days the best you can do is just show up.  That’s ok too.  But always be grateful for this trip, many are not so lucky.  

As the trip ends, you and your partner will hold hands and smile and laugh as you reminisce over the memories of the trip.  Sometimes the “worst” parts of the trips turn out to be the ones that taught you the most, because without the difficult parts, you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the easy and beautiful parts.  You will finally decide it’s time to pull over.  When you get somewhere to rest, all of your friends and family will be there to meet you.  They will want to hear all about your trip and they will share parts of theirs.  And you will encourage your partner to continue with the trip alone or find another traveling partner because your part of the trip is over.  Or maybe it’s you that must learn to travel alone. 

You only get one road trip and it will fly by.  Don’t waste a minute of it.  Don’t get so weary from your travels you forget to laugh, to have fun, and to try new things.  Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from exploring, from dreaming, from being adventurous.  Don’t spend too much time remembering past stops or worrying about future destinations, enjoy the moment in front of you.  Don’t have regrets.  Each stop on your journey has served a purpose.  And finally, don’t believe that happiness is a destination you are driving towards on your journey.  Happiness is the road trip itself.  Take it all in…each person, each moment, each landscape.  Always be present.  So as you prepare for your own road trip, pack lightly, put your sunglasses on, get your camera ready, buckle up and hold on tight!  You are in for the ride of your life…make it one to remember!

We have an unusually long summer break this year…a little over 3 months in fact.  The reason for the longer-than-usual break is to give the County time to finish the new high school.  Although we will make up for the break next year (we only get 2 months off next summer), I plan to enjoy every moment of it!  I will be out of town for about a month this summer spending time with all kinds of my favorite friends and family, but I am determined to use the rest of the time to do some things that I have either never done, or it has been years since I’ve done.  So, I created a summer bucket list. 

I have lived in Blacksburg my whole life.  When you live somewhere forever, you tend to start taking for granted all of the beauty and attractions an area like ours has to offer.  I never make the time to enjoy the things a visitor might, because I know I can do these things any time.  The problem is, I don’t ever take the time to do them.  So, I plan to change that this year!  Here is my personal summer bucket list…

1.        Pick berries at 3 Birds Berry Farm (formally Crow’s Nest) in Blacksburg
www.3birdsberryfarm.com
I’m embarrassed to say, I’ve never done this.  You can pick your own blueberries, blackberries and raspberries…YUM!

2.        Hike the Cascades in Giles County
www.gilescounty.org/cascades.html
I have done this many times, but it has been way too long.  It’s a 4 mile round-trip hike to one of the most beautiful waterfalls in Virginia.  Note there is a $3 fee per vehicle…this is new since I was last there if that tells you how long it’s been!

3.        Hike Virginia’s Triple Crown…Dragons Tooth, McAfee’s Knob and Tinker Cliffs
I have never really hiked before so this may be wishful thinking, but you have to dream big!

McAfee Knob is a 8.3 mile hike in Catawba that they say takes approximately 4 hours to complete.  It has a difficulty of 3/5 and seems to be a good way to start my hiking adventures.
www.hikingupward.com/jnf/McAfeeKnob/

Dragon Tooth is a 5.7 mile hike in Catawba that they also say takes roughly 4 hours to complete.  It has a difficulty of a 4/5 so we will see how I do!
www.hikingupward.com/jnf/dragonstooth/

Tinker Cliffs is a 7.7 mile hike in Mount Union (about an hour drive) that again takes about 4 hours to hike.  The difficulty level is again a 4/5 and they say it’s brutal for beginners, so this will be last on my list!
www.hikingupward.com/JNF/TinkerCliffsAndyLayneTrail/

4.       Go the Friday Night Jamboree at The Floyd Country Store
www.floydcountrystore.com/stage/jamboree-schedule
I have wanted to do this for 20 years!  The March, 2000 issue of Country Living magazine identified the Floyd County Store as one of the two best places in the country to hear bluegrass music (the other place was a club in New York City).  Show starts at 6:30 and ends around 10:30.  Cost for admission is $5. 

5.       Eat at The Homeplace Restaurant in Catawba
www.facebook.com/pages/The-Homeplace-Restaurant/115564841808913
I could not find a website, so this is their facebook page to learn more.  I’ve eaten here before, but it’s been a LONG time!  My mouth is watering already!

6.        Spend a day on the Blue Ridge Parkway
www.blueridgeparkway.org/
I’ve done this once or twice, but hope to go on a gorgeous day with the top down on my jeep and enjoy the scenery!  And maybe some pancakes from Mabry Mill!

7.       Canoe on the New River
www.newriverjunction.com/
The river makes me nervous, but Todd and I did this one time (pre-kids!) and had a blast!  If I can’t canoe, tubing will suffice!  It’s been a while since I even did that!

8.       See a movie at Starlite Drive-In in Christiansburg
www.starlitedrivein.info/
One of my favorite things to do and it’s been YEARS since I’ve been.  Not only am I going to go, but I’m going to fill the back of Todd’s truck with lots of blankets and pillows and watch it from the bed of his truck!

9.       Take advantage of the tons of amazing live music this area has to offer
www.nextthreedays.com/
There is so much live music going on in this area and especially in Blacksburg.  Whether it’s at one of the local restaurants/bars or an outdoor event, I’m determined to make it out to some shows!  I’m starting June 1 with the Blue Ridge Music Festival in Salem…very excited!

10.   Have brunch at Mountain Lake in Giles County
http://www.mtnlakelodge.com/
Once again, something I haven’t done in years.  The drive alone is beautiful!

I also have some silly, personal ones too…

1.        Drink some Boones Farm wine by a bonfire
2.       Have a cornhole tournament party
3.       Go fishing, but more importantly, catch one!
4.       Spend at least one day jet skiing or boating on the lake
5.       Have a reunion bowling day with my bowling team (we came in last place by the way! Haha!)
6.       See lots of movies
7.       Walk around the Virginia Tech campus, downtown Blacksburg and visit the Farmer’s Market
8.       Go to a wine tasting
9.       Try some new restaurants I’ve never been to
10.   READ!

Shew!  I’ve got my work cut out for me!  What’s on your bucket list this summer?  What should I be adding to mine?  Who wants to join me?  I’ll keep you posted with updates and pictures to see how I’m doing!  Keep me posted on yours as well!