I’ve been enjoying some “Bella Time” the past couple of months.  If you’ve ever had a lab, and especially a lab puppy, you know their energy can be quite exhausting at times.  So, on most days, I load her in my jeep and drive a mile or so down the road where my husband’s family owns about 150 acres of farm land and woods.  She can’t sit still on the way there, running from one window to the other and crying the whole time because she is so excited!  Although she is still quite crazy, we’ve come a long way from her jumping out the car window as I was going down the driveway the first time I took her!  Who knew you had to train dogs to stay in the car?!?

As soon as we get there, I open the door and she jumps out and takes off as I follow her in my jeep.  She runs through the pastures, stopping occasionally to play in a creek or swim in the pond.  She explores the woods and chases animals she smells that are long gone.  She gets so excited she can barely stand it, but is child-like in the way she never gets too far ahead, always looking back to make sure I’m with her and waiting for me when the need arises.  If we do get separated, one honk of the horn sends her swiftly back to me.  And I get to feel like a bit of a bad-ass crossing creek beds and driving places I would only feel comfortable in a 4WD.  She has gotten so attached to this time, on days I can’t take her she sits by the doors and cries and pouts.  She loves “Bella Time” as much as I do!

Along with being great exercise for Bella and some much needed quiet time for me, I’ve used this time to do what I always do…look for a lesson to take away, an experience to experience, or an “aha” moment to teach me something new.  Here are some things that have stuck with me.

Everyone should spend some time in nature.  My husband is a hunter, but he seldom shoots at anything.  One day I asked him why (which is, by the way, fine with me!)  He explained he loves to be in nature.  He loves the quiet, watching the animals, and the peace that comes along with being disconnected from the world.  It’s where he does his best thinking and feeling.  I get it now.  I get very limited phone service on this land so it’s mostly me and nature.  It’s quiet, it’s beautiful, it’s peaceful and I have seen some amazing things.  We used to spend a lot of times outdoors in our younger days and I forgot how serene it can be.  I would be remiss though in not mentioning that my idea of being in nature involves me sitting in my jeep with the air conditioning on because there are too many bugs outside and I’m scared of snakes!  But I’m still enjoying nature…just on my own terms!

It takes a very special person to stick by you through feast and famine. Normally on these adventures, the cattle are generally in the same location.  Recently the cattle were really spread out which is no fun for me because Bella is still learning not to chase them!  I called my husband and asked why they were so spread out.  He explained that when the grass is lush and in abundance, the cattle stick together.  When the grass is browning (due to our lack of rain) and there is not an abundance of food, they will go their own ways and spread out.  Obviously in the cow world, this is a necessity in order to find food, but I immediately thought about humans.  When our life is lush with an abundance of blessings and good fortune, people stick with us like glue.  When life is not so lush and we are lacking in good fortune and maybe even good choices, people scatter.  If you are lucky enough to have some of those special people in your life who stick by you in a drought, don’t let them go!

Mamas are mamas no matter the species.  I wrote in a previous blog post, Lessons from the Creek, about Bella’s run-in with a mama deer.  She has had quite a few run-ins with mama cows and it’s exactly the same reaction.  They will protect their babies with a passion that is like no other, just like we protect ours.  I discussed in the other blog post about our ability to turn from intelligent, soft-spoken women to a scarier version of the Incredible Hulk if we think our children are threatened.  I have also found that “mother instinct” to come into play with my dog!  Bella was in the woods and I heard a noise that alarmed me.  There are coyotes in the area and I got worried.  I know the likelihood of a coyote messing with her in the middle of the day is probably very slim, but I didn’t even think.  I jumped out of the jeep and was ready to take on the coyotes when Bella came trotting out of the woods.  Now, I admit I don’t know what I REALLY would have done if a coyote came trotting out after her, especially since I don’t even know what a coyote looks like, but for that moment, my adrenaline kicked in and I was ready to take some coyotes down!  I’m sure there are some people now spitting out their drink as they laugh at that last sentence, but it’s true!!  I also almost jumped in the pond to save her from (my perceived) drowning one time, but I’ll save that for another post.

A couple of more random lessons I’ve learned.  You would be extremely grossed out if you saw how many flies are on one cow.  I’m surprised they don’t all die from disease!  Also, cows poop…A LOT!  So much that I looked it up.  They can poop up to 150 lbs a day.  Disgusting, huh!  And the last random lesson I learned is no matter how hard I try to prevent it, a dog will always step in that cow poop the moment before they jump into your car!  It never fails.

Of everything I experience on these adventures though, the best thing is watching how happy it makes Bella…what could be more satisfying than that?  My daughter says I love Bella more than my kids.  Well, she IS always happy to see me, always sad to see me go, never talks back, never tires of my kisses (even in public), doesn’t know how to roll her eyes, and the only thing she wants from me is my attention and time…let’s just call it a tie!

If you've been following my blog from the beginning, you know that part of my inspiration for this journey came from a stray cat that showed up at our house last summer.  Here is that post.  I wouldn't go as far as to say Sadie became part of our family, but more like she became part of me.  Unfortunately, as unexpectedly as she came, she's gone.  I have not seen her for two weeks.  That's not a good sign.  She has waited at the back door every morning for a year for her breakfast and every evening for her dinner.  She would be sunning on the porch every afternoon when I got home from work and asleep in the garage or on the porch every night before I went to bed.  She has stayed away for a day sometimes, but I don't believe she would purposely stay away this long.  This is the first time I've really talked about it, because I felt like if I said it out loud or wrote it down that it would make it real and I wasn't ready for that until now.  Sadie deserves a good-bye.

When I think about what that sweet cat taught me, three lessons come immediately to mind.

Be open to new things...I hated cats.  Period.  I have never owned a cat, paid no mind to any cats that might be pets of my friends, and did my best to avoid cats at all costs.  I have no idea why.  I just thought I didn't like them.  "I'm a dog person" I would say to everyone.  I'm not really sure why I felt you either needed to be a "dog person" or a "cat person" and you couldn't be both, but that's beside the point.  She taught me to be open to new ideas and even old ideas that may not be true to who I am anymore.  By loving her, I realize I never hated cats, I just never gave them a chance.  I was never open to the idea and had a pre-conceived notion about something I knew nothing about it.  I think about how many other things in my life I haven't given a chance because I have already made a judgment based on a past experience or memory or even because I'm afraid.  (And yes, I will be trying yogurt today.  I have in my head I hate yogurt so I have refused to try it my entire adult life.  I have a yucky look on my face right now even thinking about it, but considering I don't actually have a memory of ever eating it and not liking it, I think I've created the whole thing in my head!  I'll keep you posted!)

A simple life is a happy life...As with most animals, she didn't need much to be happy.  She just wanted to be fed, a safe place to sleep, and a little attention here and there.  That's it.  I tried to buy her some fancy cat toys one time but she looked at me like "Girl...really?" and never touched them.  She was happy with the sun on her face and the peace that came with knowing she was safe...that she didn't need to look over her shoulder all the time.  I do believe she was genuinely happy this past year and that definitely brings me some comfort.  And I agree with her, a simple life is a happy life.  The more "stuff" I accumulate in my house and even in my mind, only makes my life feel cluttered.  I don't need it.  She has inspired me to simplify.

We all want to belong, to feel connected...As independent as Sadie was, she still wanted to belong to something...to our family.  She wanted to feel loved and she wanted to feel connected to something bigger than herself.  One day when I wasn't feeling well and I was in bed all day, Todd brought her into the house and put her in the bed with me.  She never left my side.  She wanted to be touching me the whole time.  We all need that human touch.  We all need to feel loved.  We all want to belong.  There's not a person out there, no matter how independent and strong, that doesn't have these basic needs.  We should always remember that.

If Sadie is still alive, I hope she's found a loving home and I will always be looking for to show up again.  If she's not, I just hope there was no suffering and she is looking down on me from a very happy place.  We had a very special connection.  I always felt like she was watching me...looking after me.  And there were times this year, I needed to feel like someone was watching out for me.  She brought me comfort, she showed me love, and she gave me inspiration.  I will be forever grateful.  Dr. Seuss says "Don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened."  I'm smiling Sadie, I'm smiling.

Yesterday, we took Bella to the creek on some of Todd’s family land to play in the water.  We don’t take the time to do things like this with her very often, so she was extremely excited.  The hay on the land had not been cut so it was very high except for the path we were driving on.  As we drove, a deer popped up from the tall grass and started running.  Bella jumped out of the truck and started chasing the deer. We were following behind her and had lost sight of her briefly.  As we approached the creek, Todd slammed on the breaks because all of a sudden Bella was running straight for the truck and the deer was chasing her!  It was quite funny!  The look on Bella’s face said “Retreat!  Retreat!” 
 
I was reminded of several lessons in that moment.

Don’t pick on someone or something just because you can.  It could be you some day. Bella was all big and bad chasing that deer until the tables turned.  As she was cowering under my legs, I’m guessing she was thinking it wasn’t so fun to be on the receiving end of that little chase.  I tell my kids at school all the time that they don’t have to necessarily be friends, but if you don’t like someone, leave them alone.  There is no reason to pick on someone you perceive to be weaker than you just because you can.  You never know when you will be the one being “chased”.

There are times you must stand up for yourself.  That deer probably gets pretty tired of being chased.  Walking (or in this case running) away from trouble is always a good idea, but there are times you must stand up for yourself.  I was pretty proud of her for standing up to Bella.  Most people are cowards.  It’s easy to talk about someone, make hurtful comments, or make others feel inferior as long as you’re never called to the carpet on it.  Once confronted, even in a very nice way (which is what I recommend), the dynamics change dramatically.  Tony Gaskin said it best…“You
teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you
reinforce.”  You set the bar for how you are treated…set it high.

Don’t mess with a mama and her baby.  When we stopped the truck and got out, the deer didn’t back down a bit.  She took a few steps forward with an expression that said “Bring it on!” Catie stayed in the truck and said, “She looks mad!”  She was mad! I imagine she had a baby somewhere close by and she would do anything to protect that baby.  She ended up giving us a few grunts and running off, but I know that feeling well…mess with me all you want, but don’t mess with my kids!  I’ve seen intelligent, calm, passive women change into the Incredible Hulk right before my eyes when it comes to defending their kids.  We just can’t help it.  Be sure not to stand up for your kids so often though, that you don’t teach them to stand up for themselves.  That’s
truly the most valuable gift you can give them.

All of our moments are connected.  In that moment at the creek, I was able to experience other great moments.  As I watched Bella play, I missed our old dog Samantha tremendously, and remembered such wonderful memories with her at that same creek.  I was taken back to high school thinking about how much time Todd and I
and our friends spent at these creeks, laughing, playing, and dreaming. And as I watched my long-legged, beautiful daughter play with Bella in the creek, I realized that she will connect this moment with one of her own somewhere down the road.  This is why each moment is so special.

Of course no family outings in my world end on such a peaceful note.  As we were shutting the gate and getting ready to pile back in the truck, Bella decided she wanted to salvage her pride on this deer chasing fiasco and chased a biker about a half a mile
down a curvy, country road while we screamed frantically for her (and the biker
screamed frantically as well)!  I kept hoping for the biker to turn the tables and start chasing her, but no such luck!  When she felt rightfully redeemed, she stopped, headed back for the truck with her head held high.  Obviously, we still have some work to do!

We have had some very cold nights here in the past few weeks.  The cold led me to make a bed for Sadie (our stray cat) in our mudroom.  We also have a 6 month old chocolate lab named Bella.  Bella and Sadie are the best of friends as long as no one pays any attention to Sadie.  Bella has been bitten by the green-eyed-monster.  Bella is jealous…very jealous.  There is a door between the mudroom and the kitchen/family room.  As sneaky as I tried to be, Bella figured out Sadie was in the mudroom.  This was a new development to her and she did not like it one bit.  She sat at that door…she layed at that door…she guarded that door.  In the meantime, we are all in the family room calling for her to come play with us.  She refused.  Her eyes never left that door and what she perceived to be happening behind it.  I saw myself in her at that moment.  So worried about what MIGHT be happening somewhere else, I can’t enjoy where I am.  So consumed with what I’m missing, I don’t appreciate what I have.  Bella had four people who wanted to be with her, who were calling out to her, who wanted to give her their attention.  Unfortunately, she was so worried about the fact the cat might somehow receive a moment of that attention, she missed out.  Although just a small segment of time, she missed a roomful of love, a memory, a moment.  I shudder to think of how many of those moments I have missed.  How many times I’ve been preoccupied, emotionally unavailable, or just plain too tired to be in the present moment.  In all my reading, I agree that living in the past can lead to depression, living in the future can lead to anxiety and stress but living in the present, in the moment, is the key to contentment, happiness and health.   Research also shows the many physical benefits of learning to be in the moment—from lower blood pressure to reduced levels of stress and anxiety.  So why do we find it so hard to be present in the moment?  Are there times you’ve missed out on a important moment because you were thinking about what was happening elsewhere?  Has technology made it almost impossible to be in the moment?  Tell me what you think?