I’ve been seeing a lot of students lately who can’t seem to stop worrying. Just in the last week, I’ve seen a student, who between throwing up and crying, was worried about her Writing SOL. A student from a military family was worried if they were relocated to a station oversees, they wouldn’t be able to bring their pets. A brother and sister came to see me, worried their fighting parents might get divorced. Another was worried about a sick grandparent, and yet another worried that mom wouldn’t be there to meet him when he got off the school bus. Together, we write down the worry and put it in “The Worry Box” in my office, where I keep the worry safe with me until the time comes we need to pull it out again. Most of the time, that time never comes.
Ok, so here’s the thing…I’m a life-long worrier currently trying to recover. I can remember worrying as a child. I especially worried about something happening to my parents, but I worried about other stuff too. I have wasted countless hours worrying. Hours I will never get back. I defended my worrying by feeling like I had a good reason to be worried. That somehow, all of this worrying would protect me. It would make me better prepared to handle the situation I was worried about, or even avoid it all together. I believed if I worried long enough or hard enough, I could change the outcome. In some weird way, worrying was working for me.
What was not working, was the constant stress, anxiety, and sleepless nights my worrying was creating. The toll it was taking on me and even on my loved ones. A couple things happened that began to change my outlook on worrying. One day a friend mentioned hearing a sermon about worrying being one of our greatest sins. Worrying was a sin? I’m not an overly religious person, so to be honest, I had never thought of it like that. I believe God has a plan for each of us, so to worry is to say you don’t have faith in God’s plan. I was interested enough that I looked up verses in the Bible that talked about worrying. A few of my favorites…
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Luke 12:25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
It was like God was saying to me, “Take a break Paige, I got this.” And as Max Lucado said, “No one can pray and worry at the same time.”
Secondly, I realized worrying was solving absolutely nothing for me. The worrying was not stopping the bad stuff from happening, nor did it make me any more prepared for it. I found that if I had solvable worries, I generally took action. But as a chronic worrier, most of my worries were unsolvable. I started asking myself…
Is this a real problem or an imaginary “what if”? If it’s a “what-if”, how likely is it to happen? Is there anything I can do about my worry or is it completely out of my control? It started to put my worries into perspective. I also set aside a “worry time”. I allowed myself to worry all I wanted while I was in the shower in the mornings (I do my best thinking/worrying in the shower!) I made a mental list of all the things I was worried about. On my way home from work, I reviewed the list and decided if it was still something I needed to be worried about. I was always surprised how small the list was on my way home. I tried to force myself not to worry any other time of the day, only during my scheduled “worry time”. This way, I was only wasting about 15-20 minutes a day, not hours.
I’m not going to say I’m a recovered worrier, I’m not. I still worry about my son driving on his own in a few weeks and about how much my own daughter worries. I worry about the health and safety of the people I love and the kids I work with. I worry about the future of our country and if I’ll be around to see my kids reach all the milestones in their life. I worry about my mom as she gets older and other family members who are going through tough times. I even still worry about the small stuff…my dog outside on cold days, having to put on a bathing suit in a couple of months, what people think of this blog. But I’ve decided to put it all in my worry box and pull it out only when I need to. Chances are, I’ll never need to…
Ok, so here’s the thing…I’m a life-long worrier currently trying to recover. I can remember worrying as a child. I especially worried about something happening to my parents, but I worried about other stuff too. I have wasted countless hours worrying. Hours I will never get back. I defended my worrying by feeling like I had a good reason to be worried. That somehow, all of this worrying would protect me. It would make me better prepared to handle the situation I was worried about, or even avoid it all together. I believed if I worried long enough or hard enough, I could change the outcome. In some weird way, worrying was working for me.
What was not working, was the constant stress, anxiety, and sleepless nights my worrying was creating. The toll it was taking on me and even on my loved ones. A couple things happened that began to change my outlook on worrying. One day a friend mentioned hearing a sermon about worrying being one of our greatest sins. Worrying was a sin? I’m not an overly religious person, so to be honest, I had never thought of it like that. I believe God has a plan for each of us, so to worry is to say you don’t have faith in God’s plan. I was interested enough that I looked up verses in the Bible that talked about worrying. A few of my favorites…
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Luke 12:25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
It was like God was saying to me, “Take a break Paige, I got this.” And as Max Lucado said, “No one can pray and worry at the same time.”
Secondly, I realized worrying was solving absolutely nothing for me. The worrying was not stopping the bad stuff from happening, nor did it make me any more prepared for it. I found that if I had solvable worries, I generally took action. But as a chronic worrier, most of my worries were unsolvable. I started asking myself…
Is this a real problem or an imaginary “what if”? If it’s a “what-if”, how likely is it to happen? Is there anything I can do about my worry or is it completely out of my control? It started to put my worries into perspective. I also set aside a “worry time”. I allowed myself to worry all I wanted while I was in the shower in the mornings (I do my best thinking/worrying in the shower!) I made a mental list of all the things I was worried about. On my way home from work, I reviewed the list and decided if it was still something I needed to be worried about. I was always surprised how small the list was on my way home. I tried to force myself not to worry any other time of the day, only during my scheduled “worry time”. This way, I was only wasting about 15-20 minutes a day, not hours.
I’m not going to say I’m a recovered worrier, I’m not. I still worry about my son driving on his own in a few weeks and about how much my own daughter worries. I worry about the health and safety of the people I love and the kids I work with. I worry about the future of our country and if I’ll be around to see my kids reach all the milestones in their life. I worry about my mom as she gets older and other family members who are going through tough times. I even still worry about the small stuff…my dog outside on cold days, having to put on a bathing suit in a couple of months, what people think of this blog. But I’ve decided to put it all in my worry box and pull it out only when I need to. Chances are, I’ll never need to…
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