I’m scared a lot. I try to be brave, I pretend to be brave, I fake brave. But I’m not. Sometimes I feel like I live in a constant state of fear…fear of the unknown, fear I’m going to hurt someone I care about, fear someone is going to hurt me, fear I’m not good enough, fear I’m wasting precious time, fear I’m going to lose people I love, fear I will never be brave enough to do the things I need to do.
Everyone else seems so sure of themselves. I often wonder,” How did they get so strong?” Do they practice being brave? Were they born fearless? Did they get an extra scoop of confidence somewhere along the way?
Last night my family watched The Impossible. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a true story about a family caught in the Tsunami while vacationing in Thailand. It’s heart wrenching. My daughter and I sobbed through the movie. We held tight to each other and, without saying anything out loud, I know what we each were thinking, “What if that was us? But thank God it wasn’t.” During this movie full of life lessons, profound sorrow, deep love and commitment, excruciating choices, and immense bravery, it hit me. You don’t practice bravery. You are not necessarily born with it and no one hands it out in extra scoops. You just are. You have no choice. This family was incredibly brave as they fought to stay alive and find each other in the aftermath of utter devastation, but bravery comes in all shapes and sizes. You are as brave as you need to be in any given moment. Winnie the Pooh was right…I am braver than I believe. I am brave enough.
I’m brave enough to share my feelings with the world through this blog, knowing that someone is out there judging each word. I’m brave enough to come to a job each day that, although fulfilling, can be extremely sad and scary. I’m brave enough to bring two children into this world and devote myself to being a good mother to them. I’m brave enough to admit when I’m wrong and to say I’m sorry. I’m brave enough to realize something is no longer in my control and I must let go. I’m brave enough to stand up for ideas and people I believe in, but I’m also brave enough to be open to another point of view. And I’m surrounded by brave people I admire every day. Not particularly “Tsunami-size” bravery, but “every day” bravery that keeps them moving forward when there are times they want to give up. I want them to know I notice and I’m proud. I hope I’m never tested like the mother in The Impossible, but I do hope when faced with tough times ahead, I’ll always feel brave enough.
Everyone else seems so sure of themselves. I often wonder,” How did they get so strong?” Do they practice being brave? Were they born fearless? Did they get an extra scoop of confidence somewhere along the way?
Last night my family watched The Impossible. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a true story about a family caught in the Tsunami while vacationing in Thailand. It’s heart wrenching. My daughter and I sobbed through the movie. We held tight to each other and, without saying anything out loud, I know what we each were thinking, “What if that was us? But thank God it wasn’t.” During this movie full of life lessons, profound sorrow, deep love and commitment, excruciating choices, and immense bravery, it hit me. You don’t practice bravery. You are not necessarily born with it and no one hands it out in extra scoops. You just are. You have no choice. This family was incredibly brave as they fought to stay alive and find each other in the aftermath of utter devastation, but bravery comes in all shapes and sizes. You are as brave as you need to be in any given moment. Winnie the Pooh was right…I am braver than I believe. I am brave enough.
I’m brave enough to share my feelings with the world through this blog, knowing that someone is out there judging each word. I’m brave enough to come to a job each day that, although fulfilling, can be extremely sad and scary. I’m brave enough to bring two children into this world and devote myself to being a good mother to them. I’m brave enough to admit when I’m wrong and to say I’m sorry. I’m brave enough to realize something is no longer in my control and I must let go. I’m brave enough to stand up for ideas and people I believe in, but I’m also brave enough to be open to another point of view. And I’m surrounded by brave people I admire every day. Not particularly “Tsunami-size” bravery, but “every day” bravery that keeps them moving forward when there are times they want to give up. I want them to know I notice and I’m proud. I hope I’m never tested like the mother in The Impossible, but I do hope when faced with tough times ahead, I’ll always feel brave enough.
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