The Middle is real. It doesn’t sugarcoat the realities of life and in our world of perfect “facebook families” the Hecks are a breath of fresh air. I want to be their friend. I’m still catching up on recorded episodes and I watched one the other day where Frankie (mom) was trying to get a job. She was complaining to Mike (dad) that she kept getting asked in the interviews the philosophical question of “Who is Frankie Heck?” She had no idea. Together they decided “nice” and “hardworking” might be stretching the truth a bit so she asked her three kids to each give a word to describe her…Axl (son #1) came up with lazy, Brick (son #2) chose angry, and Sue (daughter) selected tired. Frankie got frustrated and walked off and Axl yelled, “We are just trying to help! You are being ungrateful!” The other two kids started clapping, nodding their heads saying “ungrateful, great word Axl!” So Frankie spends the rest of the show trying to figure out who she is.
Frankie, I don’t know who I am either and I hope I never really do. Because if I can ever precisely define myself, it means I’ve stopped growing and changing. I’ve been lots of different people throughout the stages of my life, some I’ve liked and some not so much, but they have all made me who I am today. But here’s what I do know about myself…
I’m a contradiction. I’m the keeper of secrets and the shoulder that soaks up many tears. I’m the unwelcome voice of reason and the look that makes you look away. I’m passionate, loyal, and trustworthy, but I’m also emotional, sensitive, and stubborn. I’m a magician that can pull lost things from thin air and a gardener who nurtures, waters, and pulls the weeds of the many relationships I tend to. I see myself as weak but always find myself to be stronger than I ever imagined possible when I have to be. I don’t let you in easily, but when I do, you get the whole me…the good, bad, and ugly. I have a temper, but I also have a generous heart. I’m not a risk taker with anything except relationships and then there’s no risk too great. I can be inpatient and insecure but also independent and introspective. I make lots of mistakes and ask for forgiveness. My heart feels like it’s going to burst with all the love and compassion I feel, but at the same time my head feels like it’s going to explode from all the thoughts and worries I ruminate. I sometimes get so caught up in what I don’t have, I forget what I do have. I’m grateful and spoiled. I’m silly and serious. I’m lazy and busy. I’m happy and sad. I’m perfectly imperfect.
But no matter what combination you get of me on a given day, I also know I’m enough.
And YOU are enough too.