I still have a dent on the right side of my temple from that rock. It’s probably something only I can notice, but it occasionally leads me back to my 8 or 9 year-old self
to wonder why I didn’t get out of the way. My husband would tell you it’s because
I was gifted with plenty of smarts but not a lick of sense. He’s probably right, I am lacking in the common sense department at times, but I also think it might have been an indicator of things to come.
You see, just like that child stood and watched the rock hit her smack on the side of the head, this adult sometimes stands and allows hurtful people and situations to plow me over, with never even an attempt to get out of the way. And just like I was the person who threw the rock that hit me, I think most of my painful situations have been self-inflicted as well.
So how DO we “get out of the way”? Here are some of the things I'm working on...
Stop surrounding yourself with people who bring you down. Stay away from friends who judge you and make you feel bad about yourself and relationships that leave you feeling sad, rejected, and lonely. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Friends who support you and make you smile. People you can be your authentic self with, not a mask of who you think they want you to be. When I started doing this, my circle of friends dwindled, but I became a much happier person in the process.
Stop putting yourself in situations you know will lead to unhappiness. Do things that make you happy… even if those things aren’t popular with your friends. Doing things you truly enjoy will connect you with people with similar interests and you will be surprised how many people out there may have a hidden passion for the same things you do. Writing a blog such as this is not something I have in common with many
people. I knew I might not get a lot of support for it, but it has connected me with some of the most amazing people who write me privately about their struggles. My writing is not for everyone, but for those who “get me” I cannot say thank you enough for your camaraderie.
Be you own best friend. Get to know yourself. Learn to be comfortable spending time alone. I spent more time by myself this summer than I ever have. It was a blessing. There was a time I would have not been comfortable doing that. I always felt like I had to “fill” my time and try to keep up with the fun I thought everyone else was having. For the first time in a long time, I’m comfortable in my own skin and I like being with me.
Let go of what you can’t control. Just let it go. It’s heavy and it’s weighing you down. Hand it over to a higher power or decide you will revisit it some other time, but for now, set it down and continue the journey without it. This is probably the hardest for me, but I’m making baby steps and so can you.
Stay positive and count your blessings. There is always something to be thankful for, even if it’s just growing old…many don’t have that privilege. Don’t take life so seriously. That’s my goal this year…to put more fun in my life, especially at work. Keep the focus on what’s good in your life and that will help you stay on the path of positivity.
What do you do to “get out of the way”? Are some of the painful situations in your life “self-inflicted”? I would love to hear your story!