I was talking with a student about her fear she would never fit in. I told her I understood how important this is at her age, but to remember God made us each unique and special so we would STAND OUT, not FIT IN. As she left my office, I thought… who am I kidding? It’s not just 5th graders who feel this way…it’s also 40ish year old counselors who know better! During the first four decades of my life, a lot of time has been spent trying to “fit in” and striving to live up to other’s expectations. No one asked me to do this, it was all me.
Being true to yourself is harder than it sounds, for you must know yourself and like yourself before you can be true to yourself. I’m embarrassed to admit it’s only been in the past couple of years that I’ve really tried to get to know myself, to be my own friend, and to give myself a break. Taking a step back from any societal or individual expectations and trying not to think about what’s considered “cool”, or what relationships I might lose in the process, I am slowly becoming comfortable in my own skin.
Do you read Us Weekly? If you do, you are familiar the section “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me” where celebrities share 25 interesting facts about themselves. So to celebrate my budding friendship with myself and my own commitment to stand out rather than fit in, here is my version…
25 Things You Don’t Know About Me (and some I didn’t even know!)
1. Wine is wine to me. When you ask me if I bought it for the “oaky” taste or the “hint of pepper”, I have no idea what you are talking about. I bought it because I thought the name was cool or I loved the color of the bottle!
2. I hate to run. It’s not only painful on my body, but it’s painful for anyone who has to witness me do it. So, I’m just going to stick to my wimpy walks and leave the running to you.
3. As a consequence of #2, I will probably never be “bikini ready” again…I’m ok with that too.
4. I am a huge advocate of women’s rights but I love the fact my husband takes such good care of me.
5. I like to be alone. In fact I prefer it sometimes. I’m not depressed, I’m not mad at you and nothing is wrong, I just need my quiet time.
6. I have never pulled out my refrigerator and cleaned under it, so come to my kitchen at your own risk!
7. If I could wear jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball hat every day, I would.
8. I sincerely believe I was a cowgirl in a previous life…or at least married to a cowboy!
9. I rarely cook so if I bring a homemade meal to your potluck, my sweet husband probably made it.
10. I love karaoke.
11. My proudest accomplishment is the amazing young adults my children are becoming, but that doesn’t mean I will listen to you gossip about other kids. I am well aware my children are one night of poor judgment, one stupid mistake, and one bad choice away from being the center of your gossip.
12. I am in a bowling league…and I like it.
13. Generally, the only sports I like to watch are the ones my kids are playing. And that is my favorite thing to do.
14. There is not a crafty bone in my body. I can think of the ideas, but someone else will have to implement them.
15. I pray every day.
16. I also get teary-eyed over something every day.
17. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
18. Although no one likes to get older, I think we need to embrace the beauty of our age. When you are in your 40's/50's and you are trying to dress and behave like you are in your 20's...it's just plain creepy.
19. I don’t like coffee…even if it is Starbucks. But I’ll smell it all day long!
20. I think working full time and raising a family is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I have felt guilty every day for 16 years because of it.
21. I expect a lot from people, but nothing I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.
22. I believe all relationships/friendships are like a bank account. You must deposit more than you withdraw for the relationship to survive. And I no longer offer overdraft protection.
23. Even though I’m not supposed to care what you think…I still do.
24. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but being sensitive does not mean I’m weak and being thoughtful does not mean I’m a doormat.
25. I am far from perfect (I know, you’re shocked!), but each day I try to be better than I was the day before.
What's something I don't know about you?
Being true to yourself is harder than it sounds, for you must know yourself and like yourself before you can be true to yourself. I’m embarrassed to admit it’s only been in the past couple of years that I’ve really tried to get to know myself, to be my own friend, and to give myself a break. Taking a step back from any societal or individual expectations and trying not to think about what’s considered “cool”, or what relationships I might lose in the process, I am slowly becoming comfortable in my own skin.
Do you read Us Weekly? If you do, you are familiar the section “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me” where celebrities share 25 interesting facts about themselves. So to celebrate my budding friendship with myself and my own commitment to stand out rather than fit in, here is my version…
25 Things You Don’t Know About Me (and some I didn’t even know!)
1. Wine is wine to me. When you ask me if I bought it for the “oaky” taste or the “hint of pepper”, I have no idea what you are talking about. I bought it because I thought the name was cool or I loved the color of the bottle!
2. I hate to run. It’s not only painful on my body, but it’s painful for anyone who has to witness me do it. So, I’m just going to stick to my wimpy walks and leave the running to you.
3. As a consequence of #2, I will probably never be “bikini ready” again…I’m ok with that too.
4. I am a huge advocate of women’s rights but I love the fact my husband takes such good care of me.
5. I like to be alone. In fact I prefer it sometimes. I’m not depressed, I’m not mad at you and nothing is wrong, I just need my quiet time.
6. I have never pulled out my refrigerator and cleaned under it, so come to my kitchen at your own risk!
7. If I could wear jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball hat every day, I would.
8. I sincerely believe I was a cowgirl in a previous life…or at least married to a cowboy!
9. I rarely cook so if I bring a homemade meal to your potluck, my sweet husband probably made it.
10. I love karaoke.
11. My proudest accomplishment is the amazing young adults my children are becoming, but that doesn’t mean I will listen to you gossip about other kids. I am well aware my children are one night of poor judgment, one stupid mistake, and one bad choice away from being the center of your gossip.
12. I am in a bowling league…and I like it.
13. Generally, the only sports I like to watch are the ones my kids are playing. And that is my favorite thing to do.
14. There is not a crafty bone in my body. I can think of the ideas, but someone else will have to implement them.
15. I pray every day.
16. I also get teary-eyed over something every day.
17. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
18. Although no one likes to get older, I think we need to embrace the beauty of our age. When you are in your 40's/50's and you are trying to dress and behave like you are in your 20's...it's just plain creepy.
19. I don’t like coffee…even if it is Starbucks. But I’ll smell it all day long!
20. I think working full time and raising a family is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I have felt guilty every day for 16 years because of it.
21. I expect a lot from people, but nothing I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.
22. I believe all relationships/friendships are like a bank account. You must deposit more than you withdraw for the relationship to survive. And I no longer offer overdraft protection.
23. Even though I’m not supposed to care what you think…I still do.
24. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but being sensitive does not mean I’m weak and being thoughtful does not mean I’m a doormat.
25. I am far from perfect (I know, you’re shocked!), but each day I try to be better than I was the day before.
What's something I don't know about you?
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